Life

3 types of fear & how i am learning to overcome them

today i wanted to show social media ME. this photo is of my naked face – sans makeup, some redness, hair still braided from the night before, unbrushed and with frizzy bits. Bear with me on this one…

the reason for this post was because the other day, i posted an insta-story poll to see who out there allows FEAR to hold them back from reaching their full potential. i received an awesome response & i loved everyone’s honesty. 71% of my followers voted that they let fear hold them back a little too often and only 29% said they didn’t. to be completely real, i have let fear hold me down for most of my life. i mean, it’s totally uncomfortable to do something that scares you, right? i generally experience these types of fears:
– fear of FAILURE
– fear of REJECTION
– fear of JUDGEMENT

i don’t think i am alone in these emotions but i do know that something has shifted in me these last few weeks and i have made SMALL steps in becoming less fearful and actually doing the things i have far too long just DREAMED of & i have now started to cultivate and take action for my future.

you can normally find me as a hermit at home working behind-the-scenes for my little business & online life, or at the gym red-faced, sweaty and purely dying from the workout of the day or otherwise at a cafe stuffing my face with eggs benny & a good coffee either with my husband or my small circle of treasured friends.

i am not 24/7 confident, i am far from perfectly made up and i am still sometimes socially awkward BUT i do know that i am my happiest when i am writing and living a balanced lifestyle of workouts & netflix lazy days, green smoothies & indulgent red wines and everything in between. i won’t be everyone’s cup of tea and that’s okay. i’ll just be over here being more real, raw and unapologetically ME.

i encourage you to find your own HAPPY, do more of the things that you LOVE, regardless of pleasing others, fear of judgement and fear of failure. more often than not, you will INSPIRE, MOTIVATE and ATTRACT your real tribe and most of all, live your best self.

So, what have I been doing to start moving towards a more fearless life?

I have started to make small steps towards not really caring what other people think.  For as long as I can remember, I have always been a people-pleaser – something that I never really did recognise in me until a friend pointed it out.  I have always wanted people’s approval and when I felt like I had let them down (even when they did not think so themselves), I felt an overwhelming sense of guilt and would then try to make it up to that person somehow.  This would in turn, make me feel like crap….and the cycle goes ‘round and ‘round.

Started listening to more motivating messages

Sometimes, these came in the form of podcasts… sometimes they are videos… and other times they are simply quotes that I find and love.  Such empowering stories are teaching me that it is not my job to make other people like me.  If someone doesn’t like me…then that’s okay! It’s not like the world is ending! It is neither realistic nor healthy to try and have every single person in the world like you.  Learn to let go of that fear of rejection.  Learning to let go for me has meant I am finally putting myself out there more which is helping my brand and my business.  The people that matter will love you and those who don’t, just simply don’t belong to your tribe.

Learning when to say “no” & letting go of the “people-pleasing” tendencies


Hands up if you have ever been invited to something you really did not want/care to go to?

Keep your hands up if you said YES just because you felt like you were going to disappoint people if you didn’t?

If I had ten pairs of hands, I would be putting them up right now.  I have done this SO many times in my life – and not just being invited to things, but also being asked to do things that I either did not agree with or wanted to do.  Yeah, I’m a bit of a pushover but I’m working on it 😅

Don’t get me wrong – some things you HAVE to say yes because it’s part of your work or other reasons as such BUT you don’t have to say yes to EVERYTHING.  Saying “no” more often has given me so much more freedom to put my time and energy into things I actually genuinely care about and I am passionate with.  Give it a go some time – you’ll love the sense of freedom and remember, you are not here to please everybody.

What if you fall? Oh but my darling, what if you FLY??

I have a HUGE fear of failure. Like, HUUUUGE. It has stopped me numerous times from advancing in different parts of my life – whether that is in CrossFit, my work, trying out new things, travelling, investing in myself…. But lately, I’ve thought….why not?? Why not do it?  Why not see what happens?  Why not be okay with making a few mistakes and falling flat on my face? WHO CARES if I fail?  I can only just start again anyway… I might even pick up a lesson or two.  AND GOD FORBID I DON’T fail – imagine where I could end up!

When I started thinking like this, I once again, felt that sense of freedom and weightlessness that I have not felt in a long time.  I started to make steps towards my dream life, FINALLY.   I started to put myself out there more.  Because in the end, I want to motivate and inspire people to lead their best lives and if I am hiding myself, SCARED of failing, then that’s really not helping anybody.  And you know what?  Ever since I opened up, SO MANY people have messaged me or talked to me with positive feedback.  It is so lovely and humbling and to be honest, I’m sort of kicking myself for not doing it sooner 😅. But better late than never.

The point is, you need to learn to let go of fear –

Fear of FAILING

Fear of REJECTION

Fear of JUDGEMENT

You are only stopping yourself from reaching your full potential.

Stopping yourself from LIVING your absolute best life.

Stopping yourself from being your AUTHENTIC self.

….and all those do NOT sound like fun, nor should it be a way to live.

Let go and I PROMISE you, there will be no regrets on your end.

#noragrets 😉

 

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